Self care and the consicous leader
People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.
—John Maxwell
How many of us today can put our hands on our heart and say we wake up each morning and prioritise (before anything else) self-care, a spot of breathing, meditation, or yoga in order to become fully conscious and set about our day with energy, agility and intention in order to be the most effective leader we possibly can?
The reality for many of us is we feel vast amounts of pressure attempting to keep up with the pace, spreading ourselves far too thinly and subjecting ourselves to the tyranny of being immediately available for every meeting, email, or demand thrown at us in each moment, perceiving no time for self-care practices, morning routines or stillness. As a result we employ an array of distraction methods, stimulants, medication, tech devices, emotional suppression, or control tactics to get us through the day, followed by whatever vices, distractions or sedatives are needed to then wind us down in the evening in order to wake the next day and do it all over again.
Do we really think this is the formula for effective leadership?
When we consider leadership, often the immediate association is around guiding others when in fact great leadership has far more to do with how we nurture our own self awareness and self care. Oxford Dictionary defines leadership as “the action of leading a group of people or an organisation.” This is one form of leadership, however, there are so many varied definitions and interpretations of leadership given that the concept can refer to work, family, our own level of influence, and making an impression upon the world. Great leaders are often visionaries, influencers and innovators and therefore it’s hard to squeeze one type of leader into a box or quantify what makes an effective leader. A great leader embodies authenticity and a profound knowledge of the vision they are pursuing and possesses the ability to inspire others.
The movement towards Conscious Leadership was coined and popularised by Jim Dethmer following his 2015 book The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: A New Paradigm for Sustainable Success. The concept revolutionises the way we view leadership through the lens of consciousness. The word conscious derives from the latin ‘conscius’ meaning “knowing /aware” therefore a conscious leader knows who they are and possesses solid self awareness. Conscious leadership asks that we are accountable, transparent, and able to observe our own emotions, catching ourselves when we are reacting instead of responding, or operating from a place of needing to be right rather than seeking to understand and appreciate the perspectives and experiences of those around us.
Dethmer’s book outlines the Commitments of Conscious Leadership as:
Taking radical responsibility
Learning through curiosity
Feeling all feelings
Speaking candidly
Eliminating gossip
Practicing integrity
Generating appreciation
Excelling in your zone of genius
Living a life of play and rest
Exploring the opposite
Sourcing approval, control and security
Having enough of everything
Experiencing the world as an ally
Creating “win for all” solutions
Being the resolution
Conscious Leadership is about spotting and catching ourselves when our actions are drifting off course through distraction, diversion or seeing things through a distorted lens that is perhaps trying to protect the ego or another’s opposing perspective that we might be viewing as a threat. Leadership is not about managing others, imposing upon or trying to control but rather it is a skill cultivated and nurtured over time. Inspirational speaker and coach Tony Robbins defines essential leadership qualities as ‘a set of values and beliefs that anyone can adopt.’ He lists ‘confidence’ as his first essential quality. Confidence emerges from frequently applied use of knowledge. When we know ourselves, trust in our knowledge of who we are and what vision and values we represent then apply that knowledge consistently to our actions we develop confidence. It is from here that others may begin to trust our vision and join the pursuit of actualising from a place of sharing in our vision.
We become inspired by others when we believe in their authenticity, when we see them take responsibility and accountability for mistakes, when communication is clear and connection is empathetic and honest, when we observe integrity, focus, appreciation for those around them and agility of mind, as well as perseverance, grit and tenacity to never give up.
As much as we might seek out guidance on effective leadership with an underlying agenda to ‘manage’ others in some capacity or become more powerful or influential, the undeniable truth is that great leadership starts and ends with taking 100% responsibility and accountability for developing our own self awareness and clarity of vision and this begins with stepping off the hamster wheel and slowing down enough to see things clearly and operate from a centred and regulated nervous system.
Conscious Leadership is about making a commitment towards ending the culture of spreading ourselves too thinly, It is about no longer suppressing or denying our own emotions, sincere communication, empathising rather than sympathising, trusting in others and taking responsibility and facilitating the autonomy of those around us. It is about becoming present when we find ourselves seeking approval, and committing to a level of self care that ensures we remain rested, resilient, and able to function from a regulated and balanced nervous system in order to consciously lead others.
It is only when we invest our finite time and energy first and foremost into becoming more conscious, more present, self aware and authentic that we can cultivate leadership that is in any way impactful and sustainable.
Increasing empathy, developing compassionate communication, and attaining a state of gratitude and mindfulness, is at the heart of our programmes at MindVibes. In order to progress, it all starts with you!